I dont even know how to begin this posting, let alone end it. I guess it stems from the fact that I am getting older, and not so fresh of mind anymore. And I am getting tired to be honest - a little tired.

Tonight I have been online for 10 hours straight - only interupted briefly to have dinner and say goodnight to my kids, when they went off to bed). I have been on 5 corpse recoveries, completed 2 quests (Atlan Stones for apprx 20 people in all) as well as been to Mite Maze once, to show the way and lock-pick a door. Besides this, I have been buffing people left and right, answered lots of questions, and responded to lots and lots of tells. In all fairness, I also got a chance to hunt for apprx 45 minutes with Brell.

At the end of a LONG day, I stand in the mage shop, shopping for components, while I recieve one more tell. This time I am being told that people feel I am ignoring them, and that they are thinking about leaving the clan if I don't pay more attention to them. Naturally I inquire as to whom this might be, but I am told "I have promised not to tell".

IF ANY OF YOU, feel that I am ignoring you, or not spending enough time with you, please understand that I am really trying my best. I am in no way ignoring anyone willfully. I am fully aware of the responsibility that I have taken upon myself as an allegiance Monarch. You have given the clan a pledge of fealty, you work diligently, and in the process, with the experience you gather, additional experience is shared up the allegience tree, and in the end to me - your flawed Monarch.

To give you back a little of what you give - not only to me but all of the clan, I work diligently to serve you all to the best of my ability. I see that not as a duty, but as an honor and a priveledge. It is my role to present you all with the option of a sense of purpose and direction in this wondreous land of Dereth. I am fully aware that I cannot possibly make everyone happy, and in the end - I may seem to favor some above others. But aside from the natural closeness I feel to some real-life friends, or those I have known from even before this game was introduced in retail - I am really trying my best not to make a destinction.

I think I can safely say, that those that I feel "closest" with, proberbly get even less companionship or attention from me in Dereth, simply because I feel I can make it up to them in other ways, or because I tend to think of them as more forgiving or overbearing.

But what exactly am I expected to do with information like "people feel I am ignoring them"? My first inclination might be to just disregard it. But then again, I don't feel that would be a fair response - regardless. If someone feels like I am ignoring them - that is a very real feeling, and no one has the right to question that. What I CAN do - is promise you that it is not deliberate. I go to the utmost extreemes to make sure I respond to all tells. I ALLWAYS have a piece of paper, where i take note of the names of people who send me tell's, so that I can get back to them if I am extreemely busy, or have too many tells at once. But often, when I then (a few minutes later) respond, people have logged off and are no longer online.

I dont know if any of you have tried keeping 8 different conversations going at the same time, with 8 different people that each are unaware of the presence of the other. It is NOT an easy task. In the real world, if you call someone on the phone, and they are on another phonecall you get a busy signal. That does not happen in Dereth, proberbly because we have not yet invented the phone <smiles>. Even while I am on a quest or hunting, I am no longer able to turn off tells, (@notell on), because the message that everyone will recieve is "Brell has squelshed you", despite the fact that i have NOT personally squelshed you. So @tells keep comming in a steady pace.

You may then think - "well just @reply and tell people that you will get back to them as soon as you are done with the current tell", but that is not allways as easy at it may seem - because people often use the "Chat to Monarch" or @m function in the chat menu, and you cannot @reply to that. Instead you have to type and spell out the full character name, and not everyone have chosen the simplest of names to spell/type. It all takes time. In AC2 I will proberbly name my character something like "Shex'arazde Chnigtia Ploixn'dine" - that should natureally cut down the number of @tells I will recieve - ROFL!

I am NOT asking you to stop sending me @tell messages, because I enjoy that part as much as anything. I am simply asking you to be understanding if I do not get back to you immediately, or that I sometime may be seen hanging around somewhere, without doing anything (visibly). Also - if you can, make sure you dont just flood me with trivial questions.

PLEASE understand, that I am not complaining - simply attempting to explain why I may not have a LOT of time to socialise as much as I would like to - or to hunt personally with each and every one of you, however much I cherish your friendship and loyalty. So - I am NOT complaining - just trying to explain why I MIGHT miss a tell from one of you, and that it is not deliberate. Or to give you an insight into why I might not allways greet you personally when you enter Baishi meeting hall, or when we casually pass each other in Ayan Baqur.

It is my hope, that with the above, I have given you some insight into the situation. It is very real and tangible. And if any of you feel you have a grievance with me - PLEASE have the heart to come and share that directly with me. After all - it is OUR business - not everyone elses, and there may be a very logical explanation to what you may percieve as erattic behaviour on my behalf. It may even be as simple as the fact - that I too get booted from time to time!

See ya all out there, Brell